Doing what is in the best interest of your family, is unique to each family..because your family situation is different..the personality of parents, kids, career, hours, school situations, family situation... etc are all different creating a unique dynamic within your family that is unlike any other. It's a FAMILY THUMBPRINT if you will...some things are the same... but not all things are the same..and the things that are different..creates the inability to create a step by step cookie cutter plan for THE PERFECT FAMILY.
There are certainly some fantastic books out there that can guide and direct us into making wise choices with and for our families. But to take a book and follow it to the letter is many times ineffective (not always..but many times)... There are matters of the heart that I believe across the board we all need to address...obedience, respect, manners, kindness, thoughtfulness etc....But what does that look like... it is DIFFERENT..for you than for me.....
For me...as I am in the thick of the parenting journey...I can be an information, researchaholic. If there's a parenting book I've probably read it...if there's a parenting idea..I've probably researched it... But having said that...I'm certainly not a parenting expert...I don't always know what to do....sometimes I have no clue I even need to be doing something ......I do not implement everything I read, I certainly don't agree with everything I read either. What I feel is important is to process information..and ask ourselves..How does this information apply to my family...our personalities, our lifestyle etc...is this doable, is it necessary, will it benefit my family? While the Parent sitting next to you may get a resounding YES..you may get a maybe and another parent a big fat NO WAY! Is one parent right and the other wrong? I say NO WAY! Each parent ...after examining their unique situation can answer those questions different and all be on the right path for their family... Mom works, Mom doesn't work, home school, public or private school....These again..are not right and wrong issues ...they are individual family choices that are simply NOT a right or wrong issue. Can't say that too many times can I...that it's not a right or wrong thing..and that families needs are unique and just because it works for you or me doesn't mean it's parenting law and should work for everyone ...and if they don't do what we do then they are obviously a slacker parent.... Can I say enough..so many parenting choices are not RIGHT OR WRONG...they are sometimes merely preference...sometimes just different..not even good, better, best...just DIFFERENT...can I say all that enough???..no I can't...
This past Sunday in our church service the topic was parenting and the speakers touched on a few universally applicable topics that were worth sharing...the speakers were: Kym Carter of Legacy Moms and Ron Holton of RockPointe Church....(I'm totally paraphrasing what they said..so if you want to hear their eloquently worded full version...click here!..It's worth listening to..and what I'm posting here.isn't even CLOSE to all of what they shared.....)
Be consistent-
this creates security for your children.
They know that the rules yesterday are the rules today, tomorrow to infinite and beyond!!
That's some hard stuff to accomplish!! We get tired, annoyed, stressed, frustrated, busy ... but no one said parenting was easy...
What we do now matters...the little things matter...and will impact our families.
The days may be long...but the years are short!
Have a goal..have a vision..for what you want for your family..then get a plan in place for how to achieve those goals...
When I was a brand new parent...someone gave me this illustration regarding having a parenting/family vision...
Picture yourself and your family loaded up in the your vehicle...
ready and excited for a journey... How did you know what to pack? Because you knew where you were going. You had a destination in mind...so you planned accordingly. We put a lot of advance planning into so many things....why not plan our family goals?
My husband and I have planned, adjusted the plan and continually evaluate and reevaluate the plan.
For us..homeschooling was on our list of things we wanted to do...so we discussed that this meant I would need to stay home and how that affected our finances. Was homeschooling a big enough priority to us that we wanted to deal with whatever financial stress or strain might occur from being a one income family. For us...we chose..yes and we are on our homeschooling journey. But as I've stated earlier...If we would have answered NO...or Not Now...we wouldn't have been WRONG...maybe your answer to homeschooling is...Not even interested..no thanks..yuck...ewww...that's okay...no really...it's okay...because to be a happy family...to be a good parent and to raise your children well...there's no cookie cutter method...it takes all kinds...to raise all kinds. :)
It's hard to know these days...How much freedom should I let them have? I don't want a full fledged FREE RANGE kid...that makes all his own decisions...but I don't want to be a ......GASP...
Helicopter Mom...no gasp ...the horror... and listen..I've been her...I've also been less involved than maybe I should have .... I'm trying to figure this out...and I'm making plenty of blunders along the way..... But that's okay...I'm not perfect...and I want my kids to know...it's okay not to be perfect. Striving for excellence in all we do...is different than striving for a flawless perfect existence.... I can't say I know exactly what that means all of the time......I'm learning...each day...that I'm the Mom they need...flaws and all..it wasn't an accident..or a big bang or freak of nature kind of thing...God said...Robin (and he picked Jeff for them too..lets not forget Jeff...but this is MOMMILY EVER AFTER ..hahahhaha)..Connor and Sara need you...and regardless of my fears, flaws or frustrations...I'm gonna be the best Mommy to them and continue to learn as I go what exactly that is ...for us...and try desperately to remember..that it so doesn't need to look like the mommy next door, or that sat next to me at church or that does all the amazing crafts and knows all the cool places to go .....and that's okay...for them and for me...it's not a right and wrong kinda thing!
Okay.. ...stepping down from the podium...I'm done ...for now ...
Posts
Bravo. :)
ReplyDeleteHi Robin I loved this post and I would like to share it on Tues. on my blog do you mind. My Tuesday theme is Titus 2. Your post is perfect to mention. It was very encouraging to me and I know it would really encourage alot of others. I looked for your email but didn't see it. Email me at slegan(at)yahoo(dot)com. BTW I found you when I looked up Embracing your second calling. I am writing a review on it this week.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed meeting you.
Blessings,
Sherry