Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Bullies- Momma Bear

Since I was too little to really even fend for myself....I have had a ZERO tolerance for bullies....short fuse.   Even shorter now that I'm a Mom.  

When I was a little squirt, I was swinging on the swings at a local school, on a weeknight,  when these 2 big kids came over to me and my cousin and tried to yank us off the swings.  There were about 7 or 8 of us at the playground together so not for one second did I hesitate to tell these bullies they had to wait their turn!!!
Then I looked around ....and I was all alone.

everyone else had cleared the playground...long one in sight.

Now ......

there were plenty of swings for me and the 2 big ole bullies.  But they didn't want those swings....OH NO...they wanted the one I was on.

There I was...on the playground...all alone...with 2 bullies more than twice my size...and I just didn't have it in me to let them have the swing I was on.

I'd like to say that my standing up to them..made them leave me alone.  But..that is not the case.

They proceeded to drag me off the swing.  One grabbed my hands and held them behind my back while the other got me in a head lock.  They then showed me the brick wall that they were going to bash my head into because I didn't willingly give them the swing I was on.

I was so scared...I really thought  they were going to kill me.

Once they got me within inches of the brick wall...

The one who had me in a headlock...stood directly in front of me...laughing hysterically at how much fun it was going to be to see blood squirt from my head.  The other one standing behind me laughing just as hard and telling me I should have just given them the swing and I could have lived.

And in a flash...

I kicked em...

right between the legs...

with all the power, adrenaline and fear flowing through my veins...I sent them both to their knees.  I took off running so fast I should have won an olympic medal, world record and whatever other prize for speed is out there.

I made it to my front door ....I was safe...for now.

And soon as my Dad found out...he was out that door on their trail.

He went to the boys house...(I lived in a small town) Dad found that boy on the front porch...and the boy started taunting my Dad.."you can't get me...nannana..." as he backed off his porch into his house.     my Dad said...(with the little boys Dad standing in the background not really caring about what just took place...)  "Let me tell you something lil boy... You EVER lay a hand on my daughter again...I don't care who's house you're in, if your Dad's there or not...I will come get you!  If you so much as look at my daughter will be sorry you did!"

And with that...when I walked down the halls at school...neither one of the boys would ever make eye contact.

As a mommy... how horrifying to find your child is a bully ...or being bullied.

Parents-  it's not cute when they are 2 or 10 or 16 for a use fear, manipulation, sarcasm, physical or verbal power to get their way...

Additionally...if you see bullying adults...we have an obligation to step in..whether your child is involved or not.  To just walk away because you don't know the parties involved is shameful.  Bullying can be physical or verbal...both of which are very damaging.

As parents..we can't be everywhere. ...we can't prevent kids from being mean to each other.  My goodness, sometimes adults are worse than kids in this regard.   What we can do, is talk to our kids about what bullying is...what to do if they or anyone they come in contact with is being bullied.  We don't want our kids to put themselves in harms way by becoming involved in a potentially physical situation...but we need to teach them what to do.

TEACH THEM WHAT TO DO...we spend a lot of time saying DON'T do this or that...when we need to probably focus our attention more on teaching them what TO DO..TO SAY and How to act.

Here are some links on bullying...that will help you initiate conversation with your child....


I have and will continue to have conversation with my children concerning bullying and being bullied.   I want them to know what to do and have the necessary tools to deal with situations like this when I am not present.

From childhood...I have always been a confident person for the most part.  I have encountered "bullies" in many varying degrees from Childhood and even in my adult life.  Although it is extremely unpleasant, inconvenient, hurtful and downright painful at times...I can deal with it and move on for the most part unaffected other than the inconvenience and irritation of having to deal with the ridiculous person.

However...this is Mommy speaking...and I am much like my father in regard to bullies.

You mess with my have most certainly messed with me.  Not just my child though...I see bullying...I see unconcerned nonreactive parent....You will most definitely see...MOMMA BEAR.
  I am a kind person, a great friend, a loving daughter and a MOMMA BEAR!!
If your child acts up..handle it..or...someone else might....  just saying.

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